Understanding in a Car Crash

I have road rage. It's not a medical condition. I'm not sure if it's genetic, either. See, my dad holds up his fingers to make a cross if someone is driving like a jackass, and he yells "COMMUNISTS!" I don't ride with my mom enough to know if she has road rage, but she probably does have some kind of medical condition... which is hopefully not genetic. COUGHPASSIVEAGRESSIVECOUGH.

When I get mad while driving, it's funny. At least, it's funny to Nicole and me. When I was just a new driver, if someone cut me off or made me mad I'd just hold my hand over the horn, and hoped they could tell. "Yeah, buddy. That's your warning. Next time, you'll hear from me!" Over time, my pathetic warnings have turned into blackouts. Just kidding. Now when someone cuts me off or irritates me, I hold my hand over the horn and cuss. "YEAH, JACKASS! THAT'S FUCKING IT! NEXT TIME, YOU'RE TOAST!" Usually Nicole and I will both be yelling "WHAT THE FUCK!?" It's pretty funny, I think. And pretty bad.

Also, whenever I started driving to UMKC every day, on the highway, I've become a much worse driver. Anything below 65 is too slow, and that includes you, residential areas. Slow drivers are my natural enemy, apparently. I blame you, Kansas City. You've only entered my life and made it more urban and fast and less agreeable.

AND THEN, whenever there is a cute dog being walked on the sidewalk, our angry blackout voices change to soft cuddly voices mumbling "AWW, PUPPY!" instead of "Fuck you, Kansan driver".

Spaceship

I've decided to make the title of all my posts song names. And you can guess the artist, or whatever, if you like games, or something. But if it were me reading someone's blog who played that game, I'd just cheat. Google search? HELLO!

My car was tagged Saturday night. I may or may not post a picture (most likely not, as I'm a 'LAZY FUCK!'). "PooP" is on my rear windshield. I acted like I was pissed off or whatever, but to be honest, I didn't clean it off just so I could see how people would react at school. Or when I was just driving around. And to be even more than completely honest, it was a total let down. Maybe the weird looks I got from passerby were because I was staring so expectantly at them. "REACT TO MY WINDSHIELD SO I CAN BLOG ABOUT IT LATER, THANKS!" Then I was thinking about how many times my car had been tagged total, as if it's a way to determine popularity. In high school, my car was tagged twice. The second time I joined in. I guess that makes me a loser.

Then I thought, "High school sucked. I'm gonna go home and make some cheese dip."